SEAN MATTHEWS TAKES NO GLOBAL NEUROSYS "EGGXCUSES"

By Sean Matthews

The Global NeuroCysts are back at it again. They have been laying on a bed of eggs of lies, which are hatching into lie-chickens. Like mother, like eggs I suppose.

Fear not, for Sean Matthews is here to crack that shell open and slurp up that yolk nice and slow. Click the thumbnail to tap in. Last one to click... let's just say you won't be considered one of those "good eggs".

You'll be one of the rotten ones. The kind that floats when you submerge them in water. But hey, if that seems good for you, then whatever floats your rot-bloat.

YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT THEY FOUND INSIDE OF THE MOON

By Anonymous

According to trusted Psychowars informants, it has been revealed that Nicholas Claus, has been known to be living inside of the hollowed inside of the moon, across many generations spanning western civilization.

His longevity is speculated to be the result of energetic vampirism, where he consumes the souls of the naughty. For the protection of our informants, we have anonymized our highly reputable sources.

SELLOUTS Scam Fans of their MINDS

By Sean Matthews

Some call them "musicians,” We wouldn’t stoop that low. The corporate weapons known as Machine Girl, have been speculated to be linked to bastards known as Piper Industries. Recent online speculation about Piper implies the use of controversial frequency manipulation technology - believed to have been used in the distribution process of Machine Girl’s latest album “MG Ultra.” When documents were leaked by an anonymous whistleblower, Piper was forced to shutter their doors.

However, after campaigns by Senator Norman Guy, Piper has been cleared of all potential wrongdoing. It is found that Piper’s parent company Global Neurosys, happens to be the largest fiscal sponsor of Senator Guy in 2025.

Stay tuned for the latest news on this story.